a battle rages inside my brain
too much emotion to select a theme
love
hate
relief
despair
satisfaction
anger
the list could go on and on and it does
too much to bore you with I think so let’s just call it
or rather let’s just call me
a continuous myriad of confliction
*sigh*
welcome to my world
I find I spend time now wondering if things are different
maybe they are or maybe what is different is me
looking back I’m at a loss to identify specifics
and what I can see are just waves of
cogency
haze
turbulence
serenity
heaven
hell
so much collusion abound and rampant
as the past present and future weaves together
a
Is this what you really want? by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Is this what you really want?
Hi sweetie, I say in a cheery voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I can't wait to hear from you, I say in a patient voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I hope you are ok? I say in a worried voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I miss you, I say in a longing voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I love you, I say in a heartfelt voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I wait.
Where are you? I say in a pleading voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I wait.
I wait.
…sweetheart…?
I stumble away forever lost in your silence.
Why do you hate me so incredibly much?
I know I'm not a pretty girl, or a skinny girl, or a young enough girl
But I loved you, body and soul, with all my heart
I gave you everything I have to offer, and what did you do?
You carved up my heart slowly with a dull knife and fork
And then force fed the pieces back to me
Extracting maximum pain as you sliced ... open
You are the reason we are here in this desolate restless place
Yet you have the audacity to suggest yet another chance? You sir, are incredulous
Why on earth after everything you've repeatedly put, me through, would I consider staying?
You give me no answers; your wo
an unexpected conversation sparks a random unknown
our encounters leave me wanting more of you
the sweetness and comfort you provide
surprise the very depths of my soul
and I am bewildered at your open interest
so unabashed and concrete, can this really be happening?
your words envelope me like a mother hugs her child
the safety and protection you project frightens me
as does the instant connection you inspire within
should I run or should I stay, I'm so afraid to care again
for I know this time my heart will not survive another beating
you have much still to learn of me and you may not like what you learn
perhaps the same applie
A simple noise freezes me to where I stand, my body trembles in anticipation
It is still here, there should be no sound and certainly nothing like this
Hairs on end, heart pounding, breathing irregular
"Calm down" I tell myself "There is nothing here. It's all in your imagination"
Yet I am not pacified by my thoughts,
For every fibre of my being tells me something is about to pounce
Of this I am sure . Or am I?
My vision impaired by darkness, I reach out into the abyss but touch nothing
The air is damp; it is pungent and crisp on my tongue
I can barely hear myself think now over the sound of my blood
It rushes through my ve
Is sometimes enough? by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Is sometimes enough?
I love you; always
I hate how you treat me; sometimes
I miss you; always
I wish you weren't there; sometimes
I need you; always
I would rather we never met; sometimes
You love me; sometimes
You hate how I treat you; mostly
You miss me; sometimes
You wish I wasn't there; mostly
You need me; sometimes
You would rather we never met; mostly
Question and Answer by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Question and Answer
Who? Who am I? I don't understand the question.
What? What do I want? I want to understand.
Where? Where am I? I'm in an abyss of emptiness.
When? When did this happen? I've lost track of time.
Why? Why did this happen? I am unworthy.
Soft rumblings in the distance turn into deafening waves
Your serenity calls to me, I feel your gracefulness
Please take me away in your tidal embrace
How many times have I asked this of you?
Too many to count ... or perhaps not enough?
Your danger excites me and nourishes my soul
Yet our nightly encounters still leave me unsatisfied and alone
One last breath takes you in as I listen to your rhythmic stories
And I bid you sweet dreams 'til we dance again tomorrow
I walked by a park today
It was filled with a sea of happy children
Running, screaming, laughing
A sight so mesmerizing that
I stopped and sat on a nearby bench
I found myself staring in amazement at their free spirits
I began to smile and was surprised to find that it required little effort
This simple scene actually filled me with such hope
That I found myself wanting to join them in their games
So I did! And what fun I did have
Like a deep breath to a soul that was long stagnant
I felt rejuvenated and all because I took this one little moment
To stop and see, really see, the simple joys this world can provide
I think I will
From day one you sculpted me into the image you had for me,
The perfect little angel you felt you deserved, this I was to be,
For nothing less would be tolerated.
And like the marionette in my play room,
I performed for your entertainment,
I smiled, I laughed, I followed your rules without rise against,
Yet all the while, I was hollow,
An eggshell,
Appearing flawless at a glance yet on close inspection,
If you had ever cared to look,
I was covered in tiny cracks and capable of shattering in an instant.
With my friends I silently rebelled,
A multitude of careless acts I performed,
I toyed with life and death just to feel alive.
W
a battle rages inside my brain
too much emotion to select a theme
love
hate
relief
despair
satisfaction
anger
the list could go on and on and it does
too much to bore you with I think so let’s just call it
or rather let’s just call me
a continuous myriad of confliction
*sigh*
welcome to my world
I find I spend time now wondering if things are different
maybe they are or maybe what is different is me
looking back I’m at a loss to identify specifics
and what I can see are just waves of
cogency
haze
turbulence
serenity
heaven
hell
so much collusion abound and rampant
as the past present and future weaves together
a
Is this what you really want? by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Is this what you really want?
Hi sweetie, I say in a cheery voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I can't wait to hear from you, I say in a patient voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I hope you are ok? I say in a worried voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I miss you, I say in a longing voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I love you, I say in a heartfelt voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I wait.
Where are you? I say in a pleading voice
…Silence is all I hear back
I wait.
I wait.
I wait.
…sweetheart…?
I stumble away forever lost in your silence.
Why do you hate me so incredibly much?
I know I'm not a pretty girl, or a skinny girl, or a young enough girl
But I loved you, body and soul, with all my heart
I gave you everything I have to offer, and what did you do?
You carved up my heart slowly with a dull knife and fork
And then force fed the pieces back to me
Extracting maximum pain as you sliced ... open
You are the reason we are here in this desolate restless place
Yet you have the audacity to suggest yet another chance? You sir, are incredulous
Why on earth after everything you've repeatedly put, me through, would I consider staying?
You give me no answers; your wo
an unexpected conversation sparks a random unknown
our encounters leave me wanting more of you
the sweetness and comfort you provide
surprise the very depths of my soul
and I am bewildered at your open interest
so unabashed and concrete, can this really be happening?
your words envelope me like a mother hugs her child
the safety and protection you project frightens me
as does the instant connection you inspire within
should I run or should I stay, I'm so afraid to care again
for I know this time my heart will not survive another beating
you have much still to learn of me and you may not like what you learn
perhaps the same applie
A simple noise freezes me to where I stand, my body trembles in anticipation
It is still here, there should be no sound and certainly nothing like this
Hairs on end, heart pounding, breathing irregular
"Calm down" I tell myself "There is nothing here. It's all in your imagination"
Yet I am not pacified by my thoughts,
For every fibre of my being tells me something is about to pounce
Of this I am sure . Or am I?
My vision impaired by darkness, I reach out into the abyss but touch nothing
The air is damp; it is pungent and crisp on my tongue
I can barely hear myself think now over the sound of my blood
It rushes through my ve
Is sometimes enough? by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Is sometimes enough?
I love you; always
I hate how you treat me; sometimes
I miss you; always
I wish you weren't there; sometimes
I need you; always
I would rather we never met; sometimes
You love me; sometimes
You hate how I treat you; mostly
You miss me; sometimes
You wish I wasn't there; mostly
You need me; sometimes
You would rather we never met; mostly
Question and Answer by disquietreverie, literature
Literature
Question and Answer
Who? Who am I? I don't understand the question.
What? What do I want? I want to understand.
Where? Where am I? I'm in an abyss of emptiness.
When? When did this happen? I've lost track of time.
Why? Why did this happen? I am unworthy.
Soft rumblings in the distance turn into deafening waves
Your serenity calls to me, I feel your gracefulness
Please take me away in your tidal embrace
How many times have I asked this of you?
Too many to count ... or perhaps not enough?
Your danger excites me and nourishes my soul
Yet our nightly encounters still leave me unsatisfied and alone
One last breath takes you in as I listen to your rhythmic stories
And I bid you sweet dreams 'til we dance again tomorrow
I walked by a park today
It was filled with a sea of happy children
Running, screaming, laughing
A sight so mesmerizing that
I stopped and sat on a nearby bench
I found myself staring in amazement at their free spirits
I began to smile and was surprised to find that it required little effort
This simple scene actually filled me with such hope
That I found myself wanting to join them in their games
So I did! And what fun I did have
Like a deep breath to a soul that was long stagnant
I felt rejuvenated and all because I took this one little moment
To stop and see, really see, the simple joys this world can provide
I think I will
From day one you sculpted me into the image you had for me,
The perfect little angel you felt you deserved, this I was to be,
For nothing less would be tolerated.
And like the marionette in my play room,
I performed for your entertainment,
I smiled, I laughed, I followed your rules without rise against,
Yet all the while, I was hollow,
An eggshell,
Appearing flawless at a glance yet on close inspection,
If you had ever cared to look,
I was covered in tiny cracks and capable of shattering in an instant.
With my friends I silently rebelled,
A multitude of careless acts I performed,
I toyed with life and death just to feel alive.
W
You hid your skeletons when I had shown you mine
You woke the devil that I thought you'd left behind
I saw the evidence, the crimson soaking through
Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose
And you held it all but you were careless to let it fall
You held it all and I was by your side, powerless
(c) Linkin Park "Powerless"